Black Read online

  “Am not.” I spun, heading for the kitchen and to put on a pot of coffee.

  Jessie followed hot on my heels asking, “Why not?”

  I pivoted; she almost ran smack dab into me. “Because he’s an ass.”

  “So that’s it? You just wrote him off because he’s an ass? That could be said about most men. And women if we’re being honest.”

  I snorted, “How would you know?”

  Shrugging one shoulder, Jessie blew out an irritated breath. I knew I was annoying her at the moment. It was my specialty when uncomfortable.

  Pointing a finger in my face, she shot me a stern look while saying, “you are coming with me.”

  “Read—my—lips,” I said slowly, then shook my head. “Noooo.”

  “Yes, you are. If for no other reason than to give him a piece of your mind. Dress up and then make him work for your forgiveness.”

  I huffed, unladylike, then set the pot to brew. When Black got a good look at the other women there tonight, he wouldn’t give two hoots about me. There was nothing special about me. Expect that I was too damn naïve. Apparently. I’ve only liked two guys in my life and both had duped me. Okay, maybe not Black. I kind of didn’t tell him about Maddie.

  “I can’t go. I didn’t ask Frankie to babysit.”

  “No time like the present.”

  Chewing on my jaw, I considered all my options. It would be nice to brush Black off, give him a taste of his own medicine. But first, I needed to find out if Ricky had been around today. If he had, then it was a no-go. Safety first for my little girl.

  “Fine.” I poured a cup of coffee, held it in front on my face and inhaled deeply. I loved the smell of freshly brewed coffee, the way the steam warmed my face. “Let me have a cup of coffee and then I’ll go check.”

  “We’re going to be late!” Jessie almost whined.

  I gave her a pointed look. “Then we’ll be late. No biggie.” I didn’t want to go to start with.

  I drank my coffee slowly, watching Jessie fidget a little. She could play it off all she wanted, but she really wanted to find someone. I didn’t blame her. For that brief second, I let myself dream about a life with Black, somewhere away from the hood. For a very short time he had given me hope. Hope for a better way of life for Maddie. A life where I could take her to the movies, out to eat, maybe even dress shopping. A life that always had food in the fridge and snacks in the cabinet.

  Finally setting my cup in the sink, Jessie watched as I headed over to Frankie’s. This is for Jessie, I thought while swallowing any shred of pride I might have, which was basically none.

  I’d almost given up on Frankie answering when the door slowly crept open. When she saw that it was me, she straightened, and then fully opened the door. “Sorry kid, I thought you might be Ricky.”

  “You haven’t seen him lately?”

  “No, no…” she waved me inside. As much as I didn’t want to impress Black, I despised smelling like an ashtray. I mean, I’ve been around people who smoked all my life. My mother was one of them. But if smoking were an all you can eat hog dog competition; Frankie would win hands down. “I haven’t seen him since I tossed his ass out. That bastard. I guess he took me serious this time.”

  Images of Black throwing Ricky against the wall flashed and I inhaled deeply through my nose. Black threw him like a rag doll, and he fell into a heap. And that was after he broke Ricky’s wrist. Maybe he’s in the hospital. I wouldn’t be upset if he was.

  I nodded appropriately, not knowing what to say.

  “So, kid. What’s up?”

  “I hate to ask because you already do so much for me, but…”

  “Sure. To be honest, I like her company. She’s a smart one, that girl.”

  “Can you watch her tonight? Like in about thirty minutes?”

  “Yeah, just walk her over.”

  “Thanks Frankie.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Years ago, Frankie offered to keep Maddie while I was at work, saying she never had any kids of her own. Not that she hadn’t tried. I guess she was living out a little fantasy when she kept Maddie.

  As soon as I walked in, Jessie asked, “Well? What did she say?”

  I shut the front door, turned around and smiled.

  “Yes!” Jessie punched air. “Now go shower. I’ll wake Maddie and pick you out some clothes.”

  “Okay.” Guilt ate at me for leaving Maddie two nights this week but I tole myself that this would be the last time.

  A quick shower and I stepped out and towel dried my hair.

  “I have your clothes!”

  I cracked the bathroom door and snatched them out of Jessie’s hand, deciding I wouldn’t complain about what she picked out. I’d go with the flow.

  I pulled on my black lacy underclothes, glad that they still fit. I shimmed into a pair of tight-fitting jeans and pulled on a forest green short-sleeve shirt. Staring at my plain reflection in the mirror, I sighed, then grabbed the mascara. It was almost empty, but I had enough to make my eyes stand out a little.

  Next was the rouge on my cheeks. Not much, only enough to give them a little color and still look natural.

  I dried my hair until it was barely damp, brushed my teeth and then applied gloss.

  I hugged Maddie, assuring her that this would be the last time I left her at night.

  “It’s okay mommy, I like Frankie.”

  I stared into her sweet face and sighed. I liked Frankie too, but I still felt like a failure most of the time. I walked her over, kissed her bye then followed Jessie to her car.

  The entire ride there amped up my emotions. I still couldn’t feel Black’s emotions and now considered it an oddity or a fluke to begin with.

  Get in, act impassive—nonchalant toward him—then get out. That was the plan for tonight.

  Pulling into the packed parking lot, Jessie looked disappointed. “It’s crowded,” she mused.

  “I guess.” There wasn’t a lot of parking. Maybe enough for fifty or sixty cars.

  Staring at the building, I inhaled deeply before admitting. “I can’t do it.” I even panicked a little.

  Jessie grimaced. “Why not? We’re already here.”

  “I just can’t. When I’m near him, I lose my sanity. And after the way he left without a word, I don’t want him to think he can order me to come and I’ll do whatever he says. I want him to think that I don’t give a damn about him.”

  Jessie sighed. I knew she really wanted to go. “I guess I understand.”

  “Hey, I got an idea, why don’t you drop me off at the ice cream shop, come back here and then pick me up later.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “Come on Jessie. I don’t want to ruin your night.”

  “I don’t feel right about dumping you there and then leaving.”

  “Please, do this for me.”

  “Fine.” As she reversed out of the parking lot, a heavy weight settled inside my chest. But I knew that I had made the right decision.

  12

  ______________________

  Black

  I couldn’t get away from this female. She kept batting her eyes, touching me…if I was at home, I would have put her in her place. But here I had to suffer her intolerable voice. The way she flicked her hair over her shoulder. I laughed at appropriate times, but it was more over her fakeness. She was nothing like my Alex.

  I stilled as my heart stuttered. When did I start calling her my Alex? Blowing out a slow breath, I really needed to leave. And then she ran her hand up and down my arm.

  Thankfully, I was saved by Arkin. He saddled up next to me wearing an easy smile even though I wondered what was wrong. Was Alex here? I did a quick glance around. Nothing.

  “Excuse me,” Arkin addressed the female. I couldn’t even remember her name. “I need to speak with Black for a moment.”

  “Oh, well certainly,” she replied, smiling, and batting her eyes even more.

  I followed Arkin into the main ar
ea near the front of the room. “Thank you for rescuing me.” I glanced around, looking for Alex. Arkin had been keeping watch over her so if he was here, I expected that she would be also.

  “Nothing has happened. I followed Alex and her friend here. Thinking all was well, I took a quick flight to relieve some stress…”

  “And?” I narrowed my eyes, wondering why he seemed reluctant to finish. Something must have happened if Arkin was flustered.

  “When I walked through, I asked Kayle if he had seen Alex. He said he hadn’t. But her friend had been here and left shortly after arriving. And now I know why.”

  “Alex did not come inside?”

  “No, it appears that she did not. I am sorry that I let you down.”

  Anger made my blood boil. I would not wait any longer for her to come to a decision. She would be going back with me. Tonight.

  “Black, are you listening to me?”

  “What?” I snapped.

  “If her friend saw you with that female, well it looked like you were enjoying yourself.”

  “Nonsense.” Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the thin gold string that tethered Alex and I together. I imagined the bond growing into a thick rope and let all her feelings flow through.

  I grunted, almost doubling over.

  “Are you well?” Arkin asked, griping my arm.

  No. All of Alex’s pain flowed through the bond. The betrayal, the hurt. How she thought she wasn’t good enough. Overwhelming didn’t even begin to describe it.

  Straightening my spine, I sucked in a deep breath. “Yes.” I lied. “But I need to leave.”

  Arkin’s solemn expression told me that he knew exactly what I was planning to do. “Go. I’ll will see to the gathering.”

  Without another word, I stalked out—then around the building, slipped out of my clothes and tied them together with a string, then shifted. Hooking the string around my talon, I took to the sky. Following the bond was easier while in shifted form.

  Cloaked in invisibility, I circled until I homed in on her exact location. Landing behind what appeared to be a strip mall. I shifted and then dressed before heading around toward the front.

  Everyone I passed stopped and stared, but I only had one purpose right now. Ignoring everyone around, I pulled open the door and immediately spotted Alex sitting at a small round table near the back of the store. Her head popped up and our eyes locked. They looked fearful and broken before turning angry and fierce.

  Before I made it to the table, Jessie shoved up from the chair and shoved her pointed finger close to my face.

  “Go away you asshole. You’ve done enough damage.”

  “I will not leave without my mate.”

  Jessie’s face turned two shades of red. “Mate? Ha! Is that why you were Mr. Chatty Flirtman with the cookie cutter woman?”

  Alex stood, gently gripping Jessie’s arm. “It’s alright Jessie.”

  Jessie glanced over her shoulder. “But Alex…” she started before Alex cut in.

  “No buts, Jessie. I need to get this over with.”

  Jessie chewed her lower lip then huffed out, “fine. But I’ll be right outside when you’re finished.” Before she turned, she shoved her finger into my chest, tapping with every word. “I’m watching you mister.” And then she stormed out.

  I ignored the low whispering from the few patrons around us. Alex’s pain still beat at my chest. For the second time since meeting her, I couldn’t find the words that needed to be said. So, I waited.

  Holding eye contact, she said with a stern voice. “You need to leave. I don’t want to see you again. Am I clear?”

  My heart pounded inside my chest. “You are my—”

  She held up her hand. “Stop.” Shaking her head, she said, “I am not from your realm. Your laws or rules don’t apply here. So unless I agree, I’ belong to myself and I choose who I will mate or marry. And it’s not you.”

  “You have to feel this bond between us. Even now, it is hard for me to keep my hands off you.”

  Violently shaking her head, she said, “it doesn’t matter. Do I feel the pull toward you? Yes. Is it hard to resist? No. No instant bond could ever come before my daughter. And when you left the other night without talking to me, that spoke volumes. So, no thank you.” She pointed toward the door. “Leave!”

  She thinks I left because she had a child and I couldn’t even explain, tell her I needed to dispose of the human male.

  “I can provide for you and your daughter. You would never want for anything.”

  Her smile looked sad as her forgotten ice cream melted in the cup. “But I would. I would want someone who wants me back. Someone who loves me and considers me their equal. Someone to snuggle up with at night and keep me warm when I get cold. What you have—what you can give me means nothing.”

  “I am poor, yes, but I am happy. Better yet, Maddie’s happy and that means more to me than—well this bond I feel, or your money. This bond is begging me to go to you but my love for my daughter is stronger and it will always win. So, thanks for your offer, but I respectfully decline.”

  When she set back down in her chair, I slid into the one vacated by her friend.

  This felt like a business deal negotiation. I sat back and steepled my fingers. I was an expert negotiator.

  “To be fair, you never mentioned you had a daughter. You just sprung it on me.”

  She swirled her spoon in her melted ice cream.

  “And yes, I needed time to think. Anyone would. I also didn’t want you to rush your time with your daughter, so I left.”

  “You hid your feelings.”

  “I did. I needed to process everything and didn’t want to worry about hurting you.”

  Shaking her head in anger, she gritted her teeth. “Want to know why I didn’t tell you I had a daughter?” I nodded. “Because I know how men feel about women with kids. And… as far as my daughter is concerned, I will not let you anywhere near her until I know that you won’t shatter us both in the long run. I’m a big girl, but it’s my responsibility to protect her.”

  “You think I would hurt her?” I didn’t like the imagine that Alex was painting of me. I would never hurt a child and for her to think that I would…

  “I don’t know you. Yes, we had sex. Great sex but that’s all it was.”

  This was no going well. To think I could negotiate the situation like any logical business deal was laughable. And yet, I had thought just that. But business deals did not include emotions.

  I studied Alex while she stared at her melted ice cream. Her long auburn hair covered part of her face. Her dark eyelashes kissed her cheek. So beautiful and delicate, and yet she was fierce, especially for the daughter she loved. Her conviction was unwavering which made her more alluring. At that moment, I knew I would anything to see her smile and have it directed at me. Even humble myself.

  “You say we don’t know each other. We can remedy that somewhat right now. You ask a question and then I will do the same. All answers must be honest even if it is embarrassing.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “Quid pro quo?” She took my silence as conformation. “Fine. I seem to recall you saying that children are unimportant. Do you even like children?”

  Loaded question, but I asked for it. “First. I never said children are unimportant. I said it was unimportant if we had any. Together. Second, I have never been around children so I wouldn’t know.” She swallowed hard and I hid a smirk.

  “My turn. Have you considered moving to the shifter realm?”

  “Yes.” Her lowered eyes inched up to mine. “And then I dismissed the idea.”

  For some reason, I wanted to laugh. I liked her defiance. Females rarely told me no so her attitude was refreshing.

  “My turn,” she said, pinning me with a glare. “Did you kill Ricky?”

  I drummed the table with my fingers and after a beat of silence, I admitted, “Yes.” I felt an array of emotions rush though the bond. Before giving her a chance to respond
, I added, “he deserved it.”

  “That doesn’t matter,” she hissed with more anger than before. “You are not the judge or jury here.”

  “You think I should have left him alive so he could terrorize other females?”

  “That is not the point! If everyone went around killing people, then everyone would be constantly afraid. We have police to take care of people like Ricky.”

  I tilted my head to the side. “Did you call the police?”

  She squirmed in her chair and stared at what was left of her ice cream. “No.”

  Leaning back in my seat, I crossed my arms. “Do not judge me by the laws of your realm. I acted in accordance with mine. Ricky was trying to take what’s mine. I dealt with the situation accordingly.”

  She leaned in close and with an accused whisper, she said, “First, I am not yours. Second, you murdered him.”

  I leaned in close, my face mere inches from hers. “He accosted you and probably countless others. You can say I murdered him; I call it saving other females from his unwanted attention.”

  The air hung thick with tension as the silence settled between us. I knew, in her own way, Alex was trying to come to terms with the way I had dealt with Ricky. After about five uncomfortable minutes of silence, the tension dissipated somewhat.

  “Ready to continue getting to know each other?”

  “Not really,” she flicked her wrist in annoyance, “but go ahead. Honesty, right? That’s what you gave me so that’s something at least.”

  I nodded once and then asked, “Who’s the child’s father?” She shrugged, and I knew she wasn’t going to answer. “No, that is not how this works. If we are to work through our issues, I need to know what complications I’m dealing with. And the child’s father could be a huge complication. Who is he?”

  “There won’t be any complications with him.”

  Shaking my head, I asked again. “Who is he?”

  She briefly glanced away. “Damien. I think.”

  “You don’t know?” I could feel her discomfort which set me on high alert. I sat up a little straighter while she debated on what to tell me.

  “No, not for sure.” Her throat bobbed. “I went with him to a party. I wasn’t supposed to, but I did anyway. Damien picked me up and there was dancing and drinking.” She wouldn’t look at me so I reached out and took her hand, trying to comfort her. Surprisingly, she didn’t pull away.