Black Read online

  “You are mine, Mary. Mine. Do you hear me?”

  “Yes,” it came out breathy.

  “Don’t ever forget it.”

  Using his knee, he spread her legs wider and lined his cock up with her pussy, dragging it up and down the seam. The cool air mixed with the wetness made her shiver.

  “What if someone walks in.”

  “Then they can watch me fuck you.”

  The thought of getting caught, of someone watching made her squirm. It was exciting and scary at the same time.

  And with one hard thrust he filled her entirely.

  “What are you doing?” Alex asked.

  I snapped the book closed. With flushed cheeks, she had on a white tee-shirt and a pair of soft shorts. Simple, yet sexy. A smile spread across my face. “I was reading your book.”

  Her eyes widened. “Oh, my…” she slapped a hand over her red face, and I chuckled. Standing, I closed the distance and cupped her face. Looking into her deep brown eyes, I skimmed her lips, letting my breath wash over her as I asked, “Is that what you want Alex? Someone to watch me fuck you?”

  “Ohhh…” she swallowed several times. “Listen, that’s just fantasy, not real life.”

  I grinned, letting her dismiss her desires.”

  8

  ____________________

  Alex

  Oh crap! Could this day possibly get any worse? It’s a wonder I haven’t died from embarrassment already.

  Stepping back, I bounced on my heels, wanting to run to my bed and yank the covers over my head. My worst nightmare collided with my wet dream and now I teetered on the edge of a two-sided cliff. If Jessie could see me now, she would be laughing her ass off.

  Swallowing hard, I finally croaked, “What are you doing?”

  His eyes trapped mine. “Reading your book.”

  I hoped with everything in me that it was one of the boring scenes where Mary was having dinner with her mother acting all happy and carefree, but then Black cupped my face and asked if I would enjoy someone watching us have sex. Would it be terrible if I crawled down a rabbit hole and waited for him to leave?

  Crapedy, crap, crap! Why can I never catch a break?

  Did the idea of being an exhibitionist send a thrill down my spine? Yes. Would I ever do it? Hell no! I would never want Maddie to think that I was a tramp. And that’s what many would label me whether it was true or not.

  “Come. Sit with me.” Black took my hand and tugged me to the couch. It was more of a love seat, but that didn’t really matter.

  Our thighs touched and need shot straight to my core. Black must have felt it too. He gathered me in his arms and covered my mouth with his. Somehow, I ended up on my back, my head against the arm of the couch and his hand caressing bare skin under my shirt. His cock dug into my stomach and I wanted him more than anything.

  Breathing hard from the hot and heavy kissing, I barely managed to say, “I can’t.” And then I tried to squirm out from under him, lest I forget myself.

  “I know there is not much room.”

  “It’s not that. We can’t have sex again without a condom. And this isn’t talking.”

  He released me. Sitting up, I straightened my shirt and raked hair from my face.

  “Dragon shifters are different form other shifters. You will not conceive easily, if at all.”

  “Still not taking the chance again.” I was proud of my conviction but knew I wouldn’t be able to stick to it. He looked so sexy and was really hard to resist. Maybe I could blame it on the bond.

  “Alex,” he tugged my hand into his. “I can give you so much more than…this. Let me take you away from here.”

  Already invading ever corner of my sanctuary, I needed to tell him about…

  “Mommyyyyy!” Maddie cried, welling and terrified.

  Without hesitation, I jumped up and rushed to the bedroom, finding Maddie sitting in the center of the bed with big fat tears streaming down her face. “I’m here baby, what’s wrong?”

  She sniffed, her lower lip quivering. “I had a bad dream.”

  I climbed into bed and gathered her into my arms. “Shh, it’s okay sweetie. Mommy’s here.”

  She sniffed loudly, and before I could grab a tissue, she wiped snot on her sleeve.

  “Can you lay with me until I go back to sleep?”

  “Of course.”

  When my baby needed me, I didn’t care if there was a naked sexy guy in a towel willing and waiting on my couch. Nothing mattered at that moment except Maddie. She snuggled her face against my chest, and I inhaled her sweet-smelling shampoo.

  I felt Black’s confusion before I spotted him watching from the doorway. I couldn’t read his expression as his eyes lingered on the two of us.

  What did he think?

  I didn’t want him to find out like this, I wanted to test the waters, break it to him gently. But a huge part of me didn’t want to introduce him to Maddie until I knew for sure where this relationship was heading.

  I laid there watching him until he disappeared from site. It took about five minutes before his feelings were cut off from me. I knew that I had been feeling some of his emotions, but I didn’t realize how many until this very moment. The loss was immediate and overwhelming as I lay there snuggling my baby. It felt worse than when I woke up alone, not knowing what had happened to me the night I conceived Maddie. And that was the worst night of my life. How could that even be possible? Not that it mattered, I would deal, just like before.

  When Maddie finally drifted into a deep sleep, I needed to face the music. I prepared myself for the probability that Black didn’t want anything to do with children. He already called them unimportant.

  Walking into the living room, I stopped dead in my tracks. He was gone. No goodbye, no see ya later, just gone. Which solidified my uniform impression of all men, no matter which realm they were from.

  The front door deadbolt was locked which didn’t make a lick of sense. Maybe he’s in the bathroom?

  Nope. It’s empty.

  My heart sank to my knees and it made me a little angry.

  Black had bailed.

  I mentally kicked myself for letting him worm his way inside my heart. For giving me the hope that I could trust a man. But when Black saw Maddie, he tucked his tail and run. The crumbling wall around my heart fortified itself. I didn’t need him and we would survive as always.

  Climbing in bed next to Maddie, I rubbed light circles gently over her back while thinking about today. The way Black made me feel, the way he protected me had softened me to the idea of us. But no more. I lived in the real world and it was best if I remembered that.

  _________________

  Maddie twirled my hair around her stubby finger, waking me from a restless night’s sleep. Light peaked through the thin curtains, but I wasn’t ready to get up. Not yet. Thank you, Dara, for giving me the day off.

  “Mornin’ mommy. You still sleepy?” Yes, I was. I tossed and turned all night, dreaming of a man I could never have as my heart shattered into a bazillion pieces only held in place by Maddie glue.

  “A little.” Sitting up, I yawned while stretching my arms over my head. After running a frustrated hand through my hair, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how the best evening ever had turned into a heart wrenching night.

  Finally dragging myself out of bed, I threw on my robe and headed for the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

  With a steaming cup in hand, I didn’t need Jessie drilling me about details, so I shot her a quick text, letting her know that everything tuned to shit last night.

  Maddie grabbed a box of cereal from the bottom pantry while I grabbed a couple of bowels, two spoons, and a sippy cup. I tried to eat, but my stomach churned with anxiety and heartache. I guess that’s one way to lose weight.

  Watching Maddie, I wondered how anyone could not love her? Old beyond her four years, she was smart, witty, and caring. She was also strong willed. I grimaced; she must get that from the sperm donor.
I took a bite of cereal.

  “Mommy are you listening?”

  “I’m sorry. What did you say sweetie?”

  “You’re not eatin’.”

  “Sorry.” I took a bite, then reached over and ruffled her hair. “What would you like to do today pumpkin?”

  She shrugged; cereal dropped from the corner of her mouth.

  “Did you and Jessie have a good time last night?”

  “Uh huh, we ate pizza and coke and played with bubbles. Then she read me story, oh and we colored!”

  “Sounds like fun.”

  “Uh huh. It was.”

  Maddie wasn’t very talkative. She was a mid-afternoon kind of kid. It wouldn’t be long until she wound herself up.

  Too tired to do much else, Maddie and I walked down the street where I bought a loaf of bread and some peanut butter, a few of Maddie’s favorite snacks and a sugar cookie to eat on the way home.

  The rest of the week dragged by and Black constantly took up my head space.

  9

  ___________________

  Alex

  When Saturday finally rolled around, I was left with more questions, more uncertainties. How could one touch—one day of sex—turn me into some woman needing her man bullshit? I needed to be stronger. For myself and for Maddie. New plan—just say no.

  Having cereal at the bar, I tried to sound chipper. After sulking the past several days, I needed to put on a happy front for my little girl. “Hey, why don’t we go out today?”

  Her little face lit with excitement. “Can we?”

  “Yes. Now go change.”

  “Kay.” she hopped out of her chair and ran for our bedroom.

  I didn’t feel like going to the park, but I didn’t want to sit here and mope all day. If Black didn’t want us, then that was his problem anyway.

  I’d just finished washing the last bowl when someone knocked.

  My heart leapt inside my chest, hoping Black had decided to come back, tell me it was all a mistake. Quickly wiping my hands on a dishtowel, I threw open the door and deflated.

  “Hi Jessie,” I headed back to the kitchen, leaving her to close the door.

  “Sorry I couldn’t come by earlier. So, tell me, what happened? I thought everything was going good between you two. It sure looked like it.” She whispered.

  “It was. I had an amazing evening.”

  “You did?” I nodded. “Did you have sex?”

  “Mmmmm.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” She studied my face. “You did, didn’t you?”

  “A girl never tells.”

  “Oh, come on! I watched Maddie for you. You’ve got to give me details!”

  “You want details, okay, try this on. When I went to his place, I had a freakin orgasm while sitting on his lap. Fully clothed!”

  “Nooo!”

  “Yes. I was so embarrassed.”

  Jessie squealed, almost jumping up and down. “What was it like? Did you do the nasty? Come on girl, spill the tea!”

  “Yeah.” I poured a cup of coffee then asked Jessie, “You want one?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  Turning, I handed her a cup and rested my hip against the counter. “I like him Jess. I really like him.”

  “But?”

  The steam warmed my hands and face chasing some of the coldness away. “I didn’t tell him about Maddie.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I wanted to get to know him a little before I dropped the bomb that I’m a single mom. You know how most men are.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “But that night he found out.”

  “Shit, Alex. How’d it go?”

  “He left.”

  “Oh…he just…left?” Jessie looked as confused as I felt at the time. Right before the great realization.

  “Yes. Maddie started crying. When I went to check on her, she asked if I would lay with her until she fell asleep. Black watched from the doorway, and then he just…left.”

  “Shit! That bastard! Who needs him anyways? Their realm is probably some hellhole that barely gets about 20 degrees. And it probably smells like piss.” She patted my arm. “You’re better off without him.”

  I snorted at her description. I still felt like shit but listening to Jessie condemn someone who she believed wronged me, well let’s just say it was nice to have someone in my corner.

  “Oh, I meant to tell you something I learned.” Jessie took a sip of coffee while holding eye contact. “Know how you had to fill out an application?” she nodded. “Well, that’s bull crap.”

  “Why, what do they do then?”

  “So, apparently when Black touched me, it woke something up. I didn’t really understand what, but he says that I’m his true mate. He says one touch was all it took for him to know.”

  “How the hell and I’m supposed to find a boyfriend or husband by filling out an application?”

  I grinned into my cup. She’s telling me I’m better off and yet, she’s still looking. “I don’t know. It seems like it would be better to walk around the building and touch everyone you see.”

  Jessie sat her cup down, hard, sloshing what coffee she had left. “You’re right! When we go back this evening, I’ll touch every Kirzun I see.”

  Sitting my cup in the sink, I headed to the couch. I didn’t bother telling Jessie that I wasn’t going back. I put myself out there and he had walked away.

  “I have a few errands to run but I’ll be back to get you at five.” Jessie’s eyes drifted to Maddie, who was walking into the living room. “What about her?”

  “Jessie, I think I’m going to sit this one out.”

  “No, you’re not. You need to march down there and tell him what an asshole he is.”

  “Mmmmm…” I said, basically ignoring her. I had no desire to face him and this time, Jessie would not talk me into going.

  “Okay, I have to get going. I’ll see you later.”

  “Bye Jess.”

  After she let herself out, I pulled Maddie onto my lap and wrapped my arms around her.

  “You look nice, pumpkin. What would you like to do today?”

  “Uhm, buy a puppy?”

  “We can’t get a puppy today, but we can walk down to the park and maybe play with some puppies?”

  “Kay!”

  “And I can push you on the swing.”

  “Let’s go!” Maddie hopped off my lap and ran for the door.

  “Let me change and grab my wallet.”

  Even though we didn’t live in the best neighborhood, daylight provided enough safety that I didn’t worry about walking to the park.

  Hand and hand, we walked the half mile down the street. Maddie told me about eating pizza, taking a bath, even playing hide and seek with Jessie. I owed her bigtime.

  The park was semi-crowded with kids playing while other people played fetch with their dogs.

  “Alex!” Tom waved his hand in the air and then trotted over. Around forty-five, he was a decent looking guy with graying hair on the sides. I knew he talked to me because I was one of the few people not interested in him. And he loved seeing Maddie.

  “Hi Tom.”

  He dropped to his knees, winking at Maddie. “And how are you today princess?”

  She giggled, then hid behind my leg. At almost five years old, she flirted better than I did because my girl was not shy!

  Butch, his lanky hound dog trotted over. “Want to pet him?” Tom asked Maddie as he gave Butch a good rub.

  Maddie dislodged herself from behind my leg and rubbed Butch’s ear, giggling. Butch licked Maddie’s face and she broke out in a fit of laughter.

  Tom stood, leaving Maddie to pet Butch. “How are things Alex?”

  “Everything’s great! How about you?”

  We made idle chitchat. Tom owned a general store a few blocks from here. If you needed some toilet paper, he had it. A wrench? Yep, he had that too.

  When he and Butch headed back for a g
ame of fetch, Maddie and I snagged an available swing. Lifting her into the seat, I said, “Hang on tight.”

  “I will, mommy.”

  As I pushed Maddie back and forth on the swing, I noticed the others in the park. There were no couples. A few other men who were nice looking enough, but certainly no Black. But the women, they were all toned bodies with perfectly styled hair. Even here, I could see what Jessie was talking about.

  She didn’t want to compete, and I didn’t blame her. I couldn’t image not only finding someone but keeping him.

  And then I thought about Black. The way he made me writhe beneath him, his lips on mine, tongue demanding. I shivered just thinking about him. And then I remembered the look on his face, his feelings of confusion and then…nothing.

  Forget him Alex! And that’s exactly what I needed to do. Forget him and move on with my life. I didn’t need him or this stupid heartache. If only I had told Jessie no and let her fill out an application by herself.

  We stayed for a couple of hours before heading over to a hot dog stand, “Hey Tony.”

  Tony, a middle-aged, slightly overweight bald man, leaned over and smiled down at Maddie. “Alex, and the beautiful princess. What can I get for two of my favorite people?”

  “Two hotdogs, fries, and a small coke.”

  I pulled out one of my last ten dollars to pay the $7.49, but Tony held up a hand. “On the house.”

  “I can pay…”

  “No, this one is on me.”

  I smiled, “Thanks Tony.”

  Sitting down at the picnic table, I ate one hot dog, giving Maddie the other. I also let her eat her fill of the fries and coke before I polished off the rest.

  Throwing away the wrappers and cup, I smiled down at her. “Have fun?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Ready to go home?”

  She yawned then nodded.

  Once we got back to the apartment, I snuggled Maddie in the bed until we both fell asleep.

  10

  _________________________

  Black

  Standing just outside the door, I watched as Alex consoled a small child. My heart swelled with some unknown feeling, and I didn’t like it. It made me feel weak, vulnerable.